Saturday, April 28, 2007

Siren's Call

Although the cognitive dissonance of liberals limits them to religious zealotry and its attendant belief in man-made global warming, there may be some who haven’t yet succumbed to this siren’s call of hysteria. Even though liberals hate America and the capitalism that’s made her the greatest nation in history, and especially the oil that fuels this capitalism, maybe there are still some who are capable of reason.

Humans don’t cause global warming. CO2 doesn't cause temperature increases, it lags behind them as an effect. The oceans store CO2 in cooler conditions and then release it into the atmosphere when they warm - this is the earth's way of providing fertilizer for plants during the periods of warmth that are conducive to growth. CO2 is logarithmic in its heat absorbing capacity. This means that each successive unit of CO2 added to the atmosphere has less capacity to absorb heat than the one before it. The volume of CO2 in the atmosphere has already generated 75% of its total heat-trapping capacity and will soon be completely saturated meaning it cannot trap any additional warmth. Any additional increases in volume beyond this point will have absolutely no effect.

Even though alarmists can point to no empirical evidence supporting their nonsense they continue in their “Chicken Little” routines. They point to worthless computer models and refer to them as ‘science.’ Climate studies produced by the UN are fraudulent just as everything else this corrupt institution produces has been (Oil for Food!). Peer review in climate science is a joke as none of these studies can be replicated through the scientific method. The so-called scientists of these studies have not archived their data nor made available the algorithms used in their ridiculous computer models. Michael Mann, notorious for “The Hockey Stick” theory, used invalid tree rings in his study and censored data that demonstrated the 15th century was warmer than present. Phil Jones, whose work is still used by the UN to claim that the Urban Heat Island effect is not a significant factor in land-based temperature records, claims he cannot share the methods or data from his seminal research because they have been lost. Regardless, the UN still uses his results as primary evidence that humans are responsible for climate change.

The UN should stop using these fraudulent studies and renounce their corrupt attempts at establishing global governance through the abuse of climate science.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Moral of the Story

Warmer-in-Chief Al Gore tells us the fight against climate change is a moral crusade and encourages us all to do our part. The great German philosopher Emanuel Kant established a process known as the Categorical Imperative to help in determining what could be considered ‘moral.’ Essentially, that which is to be moral must be something we could will that everyone could do in similar fashion and we would still consider it moral in that it served the greatest good for the greatest number of people. Apparently, Gore’s morality applies only to other people and not himself.

It would take twenty years for most of us to use as much energy as Gore does in one year at his primary residence. Yet he is always on his soapbox telling the rest of us what we need to do to save energy. “It’s not that hard to do” he says while flying all over the earth telling the rest of us not to fly. He tells us to forgo use of fossil fuels while his family fortune has come from Occidental Oil Company. He preaches environmental sanctity while the zinc mine on his property paying him hundreds of thousands of dollars in royalties is ranked one of the most polluted and toxic sites in the country. When the term hypocrite was coined they must have had Al Gore in mind. What an incredible charlatan.

Gore claims his extravagant energy use is “carbon neutral” because he uses clean energy and buys carbon offsets. Then it turns out he “buys” his offsets from Generation Investment Management which is a firm he founded and receives the “offsets” as a form of compensation. The company doesn’t offer the offsets itself, but rather invests, for profit, in so-called “Green” companies that do. Essentially, Gore buys stock in his own company and then claims that its returns are carbon offsets.

What would Kant say? If all of us performed as Gore does, consuming energy extravagantly and buying indulgences from others to forgive our own excesses (and who would these people be if all of us were behaving like Gore), would our actions still be considered moral? I guess just like his “legal” responsibilities at the 1996 Buddhist Temple fundraiser where he was soliciting, and collecting, money from Chinese communists he would sincerely look us in the eye and claim “there is no controlling moral authority.”

Hot Air

Now that the scientists on the Supreme Court have classified CO2 as a pollutant, the time to act has come. To help my liberal Democrat and environmental friends out, I would like to propose the following legislation as one small attempt to address the global warming problem. I call it “Three Breaths and You’re Out.”

This simple but forceful initiative will help to alleviate one of the major human problems causing CO2 – breathing. Since people (especially Republican capitalist conservatives) tend to be very selfish, they take many more breaths than they should. Studies have shown that Americans take at least 25% of all the breaths in the world despite being only 5% of the population. My proposal would encourage people to be more compassionate towards their fellow man by reducing their current 10-12 breaths per minute down to a more sensible level of 6-8 breaths. This is not as difficult as it may sound.

If people just chill a little, relax, and stop getting so worked up about silly things like work, family concerns, and blindly attacking countries we don’t like, we could easily hit these new breathing reduction targets. An additional benefit would also be provided to our economy. Industries such as Yoga and Transcendental Meditation would likely see huge growth spurts and their employment ranks could rapidly swell. Also, population control and reduction would be enhanced because heavy breathing was no longer tolerated.

Since we all know that voluntary proposals like this usually don’t work, the federal government will be happy to join in the effort. Once they make the program mandatory, any offender who exceeds the new breathing targets three times will have a plastic bag placed over his head. This will ensure compliance and avoid any future non-conformity.

While it is impossible to know how George Bush will respond (science hasn’t yet determined if mindless muttering increases or decreases CO2 output), the previous administration embodies the characteristics required to model behaviors that will make the program successful. Al Gore, the former VP, doctor, and Oscar winning actor for pretending to be a climatologist, has so much self-control he hasn’t taken a breath in several years. Although not able to match the yeoman feats of his former understudy, former President Bill Clinton at least goes halfway by not inhaling. With stalwart examples like these, how can any of us fail to do our part?